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Reconnect-with-that

I padded out of my bedroom the other day with the song of the magpies and looked around with a new perspective and my blinkers off.

There were a few dishes in the sink from last night’s little treat while watching netflix. On the dining room table the sun streamed in to highlight tiny, crusty bits of food that had  superglued themselves to the table in a desperate attempt to avoid the cloth after missing out last night. Some of the furniture pieces I’d had were staring at me in bemusement, their stained wood from another decade rolling its eyes at me. The fridge was covered in an assortment of notes, kids artwork and tradespeople’s magnets. Everything was relatively tidy, but it was just a bit bleh.

Where was the emotion in the home? Even after I did my jazzy cleaning routine, it was just sterile. It went further, blinkers still off dressing gown on I trudged into my wardobe. My clothing was ok but didn’t really make me feel anything. It served a purpose of being easy to put on without having to think at the brain dusky hour of the morning. It was dark to avoid all manner of toddler stains. Don’t get me wrong this is a very valid and practical justification for my clothes, but surely, I have another colour other than black.

Right onto the garden. My garden too was neat and tidy, except for the few weeds poking up like wiry grey hairs. (I’ll get you later my friends). Shouldn’t my garden be beautiful and a little wild?

On reflection the components of my life were all working just fine…but I wanted more. Every cell in my body wanted to feel more. I wanted beauty.

But why? When I finally sat down with a cup of tea and very chewy delicious, chocolate biscuit and allowed my eyes to glaze over and drift along. I came up with this…

Ten reasons for living a life filled with beauty.

  1. When you have beauty in your life you feel alive. It ignites the senses. Not just your spidey senses, but your taste buds, your nostril senses, your eardrums and that lovely sensual thing -touch. Not to mention that seeing beauty is like a short circuit to feeling fabulous.  This makes you feel damn good! Like you are not just functioning in life, but living it.
  2. When you make your home beautiful and take care of yourself and your appearance. Then every time you walk into your home or put on your clothes you are looking after yourself and respecting yourself. Really, when was the last time you actually looked after yourself?
  3. When you are kind and loving to others you are living a life of beauty and that just makes you feel bloody excellent on the inside.
  4. When things go bad, which, let’s face it happens to everyone, having a life filled with beauty is like having a sanctuary to retreat;a place to heal in.
  5. It’s an expression of that inner-most you. As mums or moms we tend to lose that sense of individuality that makes us that delectable, totally individual you?
  6. Living a life filled with beauty is living in the moment and seeking beauty in all things from the mundane to the previously invisible. The more you start to seek out beauty and appreciate it the more you will see. What you focus on you become.
  7. It is a pleasure. When life is crammed with monotony, or drama or pain and worry, you deserve pleasure. It soothes and balms.
  8. There is less room for negativity, jealousy, anger and depression when you are living a life of beauty. The negative thoughts can’t swirl around on that endless repeat cycle.
  9. When you live a life filled with beauty, you feel beautiful. When you feel beautiful you are beautiful.
  10. When beauty is crammed into your life  you feel damn good inside and then anything is possible. You take chances, you live deeply you laugh your guts out and slurp up life like a beautiful, rich wine.

Need I say more to convince you that living a life filled with beauty is well worth pursuing.

Why do you think we should live a life filled with beauty?

In todays busy lives, just managing a quick wink and a consensual, “How about it?” is really the level of seduction we have time for. In the lives of the busy mother, particularly one with little kids, it’s a “Are you serious? I’ve had little people hanging off me all day? ! The last thing I want, is you now slobbering all over me. Oh, all right, if I have to…”

Do you remember the time early on in the relationship when everything was about the seduction, the allure, the promise of what is to come? It felt beautiful and you felt beautiful and you were, quite simply, smokingly beautiful.

As women our sensuality is just so important. It’s a part of what makes us who we are. It helps us to feel again on an emotional level. It’s an expression of our individuality and an emotional release that makes us feel connected and alive.

Yet, with our crazy work schedules, kids in all their shapes and forms, caring for elderly parents and just life, it is usually the first thing we get disconnected from. For some of us think desert… a long, hot, dry desert.

Well, here are some things to help you feel beautiful on the inside and look downright beautiful on the outside and reconnect with your inner gorgeousness.

5 Ways to feel sensual again.

  1. Start thinking about your partner without the filters of months and years of togetherness. How does he or she look now? What makes them attractive to you? What delights you about them? This one may take a while, as it is so easy to get stuck in our perceptions and beliefs about someone. Let’s face it, our ideas about our partner may sometimes be quite negative. What I mean by a while, is dedicate just a few minutes each day (try the start of the day) to think about them. See if you can do it for a few weeks, or until you start to feel quite light, appreciative or playful about your partner. You have created your perceptions about your partner over years, so it will take some time to reprogram. Often, what I do  when I go down the usual criticism path, is to  make myself think three things I love about my partner.
  2. Begin to think of yourself as a delectable, sensual woman. Now, I hear you on this one. Particularly after kids, it’s hard to enter that zone when we barely have the time to clean up the slopped weetbix from our shirt, let alone brush our hair before we head outside. This one is really important. When was the last time you actually thought about yourself as a delectable being? I believe you become what you think about. So, rather than thinking about the piles of washing, why not think about how much you enjoy kissing or seduction or gorgeous biceps! Anything that enters you into the world of the sensual being.
  3. Read erotic literature. I know, I know…but it works. There are lots of authors now that are women who write for women.  Women are highly evocative creatures and those words when read off a page have a way of doing things to your mood and body that will see your partner yodelling for joy!
  4. Buy yourself some beautiful lingerie. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune, but it really is amazing what a matching pair of knickers and a brassiere will do to your mood and self perception. Please don’t buy your plain jane, ever so practical tummy tuck in and nipple disguising sort. Buy something just because it is pretty or even better deliciously sexy. (There I said it). You will feel smoking hot all day and as for your partner…
  5. The spontaneous seduction is really hard to manage these days, so why not make some time in your own mind, without telling your partner and start the seduction early on in the day. Give them a soft lingering kiss before you head off to work. A flirtatious text during the day. Deck the bedroom out in candles. Have a glass of wine ready with dinner. Play footsies under the table and tuck the kids into bed early.

This part of our lives as women is just so important. Reconnect with that sensual, delectable you again and watch beauty unfurl like a dragon’s breath. You will be, quite simply, smokin’.

What do you do to get back in touch with that sex goddess inside of you?

love

zali x